Deschooling: The First 2 Weeks Almost Everyone Skips

So, let’s talk about a step that almost everyone skips when they start homeschooling: deschooling.

Picture yourself at the beginning of your homeschool journey. You’re excited. It’s really easy to jump straight in — and to overbuy and overspend on a kindergarten curriculum before you’ve taught a single lesson. (I talk about that in my kindergarten curriculum video.)

Let’s take this one step at a time.

What deschooling actually is

When most people think about school, they picture a classroom: kids at their desks most of the day, listening to a teacher talk. That’s school.

Homeschool looks fundamentally different. And I think the best bridge from a school mindset to a homeschooler’s mindset is deschooling.

Deschooling is a short, intentional break — usually one or two weeks — where you don’t do any planned lessons. Instead, you let yourself and your child decompress from the school picture you’ve both been part of, and find new rhythms.

One of the best things you get in homeschooling is the chance to let your child’s curiosity carry them. Maybe you find a rock on a walk together. What kind of rock is it? Where did it come from? Why is it here? Maybe you end up looking into rock tumblers — and down and down the rabbit hole you go. That’s a huge part of homeschooling.

Think about coming home after a long trip. Before you settle back into your routine, you unpack. Deschooling is unpacking the school mentality, so you can start your homeschool journey with the suitcase empty.

Why it matters

If school was stressful for your child — too loud, too distracting, too rigid — deschooling gives them a fresh start before you ask them to try again.

And it matters for you, the parent educator. Most of us carry that picture of desks and rows of kids around in our heads. Deschooling is where you discover what school can look like at home: being engaged with your child and following their curiosity.

Try it for a week or two, and see how different school can be. Your whole lens changes.

What to actually do

Deschooling isn’t doing nothing. It’s doing the good stuff.

1. Read a lot. Read books together. Go to the library and bring home fiction, non-fiction, biographies — lots of different genres. If your child isn’t reading yet, run your finger under the words as you read, and point out letters: right there I see f-u-n. If they are reading, try trading pages in a chapter book — your child reads one page, you read the next. This is about showing your child that reading is something you love, and you’re right there with them.

2. Follow their questions. When they ask why, follow it. If they’re in the garden asking about plants and bees and roots, chase it down together.

3. Bake and make things. Be intentional about letting them help, even though it’s a lot faster to just do it yourself. Yes, it takes longer. But “we need a third of a cup of brown sugar — how many more thirds will it take?” is real math. LEGO is learning one-to-one correspondence and engineering. Get crafty, and find things that suit their interests.

When my son was in kindergarten, he loved Hot Wheels. My husband found a way for them to take the cars apart, repaint them, and put them back together. He saw how things work — and he’d ask, “Can we work on the cars some more?” That kind of education sticks.

4. Get outside. Rain, shine, or snow. Talk about the types of clouds you see. Notice the pine trees and the leaves.

5. Play a lot. Put the iPads away, and get toys they’re excited about. Don’t sleep on Magna-Tiles — they’re amazing for engineering, and so much fun to build with together. Then the dolls come, or the cars, and suddenly it’s a garage. That imagination is what grows their interest in learning, and makes them lifelong learners.

6. Visit places. The library. A good hike in your area.

And here’s your assignment: watch how they learn. This is key to serving your child well after deschooling. What lights them up? Do they need to move? Do they like music in the background? Are they drawn to visuals? You’re gathering the information that will make you a great teacher for them.

Notice there’s no curriculum on this list. That’s on purpose. It doesn’t leave you behind — it’s the foundation for the rest of your homeschool journey.

The hardest part

Every one of those things requires your full presence. Not half present. Not “here, but scrolling” present.

This has been one of the greatest gifts of homeschooling for me: it reminds me to pause, and to embrace my own curiosity. When you’re an adult with bills to pay, schedules to keep and dinners to make, the world can start to feel pretty mundane. Seeing it through your child’s eyes makes it colorful again. It’s worth it — for you and for your child. (I wrote more about this in the most powerful tool in your homeschool.)

How long, and how to know it’s working

Plan on about one to two weeks. Then watch for the signs:

• If there was any tension around learning, watch for it to soften.
• Notice when you stop feeling panicked about your homeschool journey.
• Watch for the moment you think, “Okay — I can see how this is going to work.”

That’s when you’re ready to start adding some structure to your days.

Give yourself permission

I know it feels backwards to start homeschooling by not doing school. But it’s worth it. This reset sets the tone for the whole rest of your year.

When you’re ready for a little structure, grab my free Starter Week — a simple spine for what your first homeschool week can look like. 💛