Deschooling: What to Do Your First Two Weeks
Before you crack open a single workbook, do this. Deschooling is the gentle reset that makes everything after it easier — here's what it is, why it matters, and exactly what to do.
Here’s the step almost every new homeschooler skips — and the one I most wish they wouldn’t: deschooling.
If you’ve just pulled a child out of a classroom (or you’re starting fresh and you carry a classroom in your head), the instinct is to dive straight into curriculum on day one. Resist it for a couple of weeks. That pause will make everything after it work better.
What deschooling actually is
Deschooling is a short, intentional break — usually one to three weeks — where you don’t do formal lessons. Instead, you let your child (and yourself) decompress from what “school” felt like, and rediscover that learning can be curious, relaxed, and self-driven.
Think of it like the days after a long trip: before you can settle into a new routine, you need to unpack, rest, and reset. Jumping straight from a school mindset into a rigid home version of school is like landing from a red-eye and immediately running a marathon.
Why it matters (especially if school was hard)
If your child left a classroom that felt stressful — too fast, too slow, too loud, unkind — they may have picked up some bruises about learning itself: that it’s boring, or scary, or something done to them. Deschooling gives those bruises time to heal before you ask them to try again.
And it’s not just for the kids. You probably need it too. Most of us were schooled, so we assume real learning means worksheets, grades, and a desk. Deschooling is where you start to notice how much your child learns without any of that — which is exactly the confidence you’ll need to teach them.
What to actually do (it’s the fun part)
Deschooling isn’t “do nothing.” It’s “do the good stuff, with no agenda”:
- Read together, a lot. Piles of picture books, on the couch, for fun. (Here are some favorites for ages 4–7.)
- Follow their questions. If they ask why the sky is blue, chase it down a rabbit hole together. No lesson plan required.
- Bake, build, and make. Cookies are measurement. LEGO is engineering. It all counts.
- Get outside. Walks, parks, backyard digging, watching bugs.
- Play — real, unstructured play. This is how young children do their most important learning.
- Visit things. The library, a museum, a farm, the hardware store.
- Watch how they learn. When no one’s grading them, what lights them up? What do they gravitate to? You’re gathering the intel that’ll make you a great teacher.
Notice there’s no curriculum here — on purpose. You’re not behind. You’re building the foundation.
The hardest part: put the phone down
I’ll be honest with you, because this is the piece that matters most — and it’s the hardest. Deschooling only works if you are fully engaged with your child. Not half-present, not “here but scrolling.” Present.
So here’s my challenge, and I mean it literally: set your phone in another room. Not face-down on the counter — in another room. Then get down on the floor, look at your child, and discover with them. Turn the rock over together. Ask the question and actually wonder about the answer. Follow their curiosity like it’s the most interesting thing in the world, because to them, it is.
This is genuinely hard. Our phones are designed to pull us away, and these early weeks will test that. But kids know the difference between a parent who’s there and one who’s just nearby. Deschooling is about rebuilding a warm connection around learning — and connection needs your eyes and your attention, not the leftovers of it.
Put it down. Look at your child. You won’t regret a single one of these minutes.
How long, and how to know it’s working
A common rule of thumb: about a week of deschooling for each year your child was in traditional school (so a kindergartner starting fresh might need just a few days; a child leaving 3rd grade might need a month). But you know your kid — watch for the signs it’s working:
- They start showing curiosity again, asking questions, following interests
- The tension around “learning” softens
- You feel less panicked and more like “okay, I can see how this works”
When you notice those, you’re ready to gently fold in a little structure — start with just reading and math, keep it short (see what a homeschool day actually looks like), and build from there.
Give yourself permission
I know it feels backwards to start homeschooling by not doing school. But this quiet reset is one of the most productive things you’ll do all year. Trust it.
When you’re ready to ease into lessons, my free Starter Week is a gentle first week — already planned, low-pressure, exactly the kind of soft landing deschooling leads into.