The Most Powerful Tool in Your Homeschool

If we’re really honest about it, we all know that little nudge a phone can give.

I read in a book once that the author called it exactly that — a nudge. When your phone is in your pocket or sitting right beside you, your brain is almost divided. Oh, I could just do that one thing. Oh, what can I check on?

Now picture yourself at the table, ready to start a homeschool lesson with your child, and you feel that nudge. What happens to your attention? What happens to your focus with your child?

Let’s take this one step at a time.

First — what this isn’t

This is not a guilt trip. It’s an observation, and it’s from my own experience.

What has made me a more successful homeschool parent is being undivided. And when I am divided, it isn’t always the phone. Sometimes it’s a loaf of sourdough in the kitchen and I know I need to get my stretch-and-folds in, so I go do that — and now I’m not fully present with my child.

Some days it works out and I can fold the sourdough into our day and everybody’s happy. But a lot of things are competing for our attention while we homeschool our kids.

I have found the most success when I can just be dialed in with them. It’s better for them, better for me, and the day goes a lot smoother.

Why it matters more at home

One of the main benefits of homeschooling is the connection you get to have with your child.

And they can tell when you are fully present versus half present. They can feel it.

Here’s the thing that has made me pause the most: there’s a subtle communication happening, whether they can put words to it or not. When a parent gets distracted by their phone, what’s quietly being said is this is more important than you.

I’ve felt strongly about this for a long time. In a digital age, with so many companies putting so much money into winning your attention, going another way is genuinely difficult. But your child can sense whether you’re really there — and it turns into such a beautiful thing when you put the distractions away and you are.

My time at the kitchen table with my kids, I view as my job. That mentality helps me. This is my occupation right now. I’m going to put my best effort into it, and I’m so blessed to get to do it with my children.

5 ways to make your homeschool day distraction-free

1. Put your phone in another room. I know there are tools out there — I’ve seen that “brick” device for your phone, which I haven’t tried but could be helpful. Honestly, the most effective thing I’ve found isn’t complicated: put the phone in another room. It’s not rocket science. I also don’t wear my Apple Watch during the homeschool day.

2. Protect a phone-free block. You don’t have to be a monk all day. Set aside the instructional time and be fully present for that. Afterward, during a break or recess, go check your messages.

3. Get on the floor with them — especially with little ones. Get on their level. Being physically present tells them that they matter and that their education matters to you.

4. Single-task on purpose. Just do school with them. Don’t do the laundry. Don’t make the sourdough. Don’t glance at your phone. Or, said more positively: do be present. Do engage. Do show them they’re important. We get these years one time. Single-tasking during your homeschool day is how you say that without saying it.

5. Lead by example. We can’t ask our kids to put a tablet down if we won’t go first. We have to model it — that is what education is. I do, we do, you do.

If you’re frustrated by how much time your child wants on their tablet, it may be worth looking in the mirror: how much time do we spend on our phones? What is our child watching us do — and copying? This one’s tough, but going first will be worth it.

A word about screens during the school day

When my kids were in the primary grades, I felt strongly about not doing much online curriculum. We had a couple of apps on an iPad — Khan Academy Kids, some learning games — and that was about it.

What helped most was blocking off our mornings as screen-free time. It created a much calmer environment in our home.

Screens have pervaded everything. Kids born in the last decade or two don’t know anything else, and I love being able to show them a different rhythm — taking the first and best part of the day and keeping it screen-free.

As my kids have gotten older I’ve been more flexible. They do some computer-based lessons now, and it’s been wonderful. I’m not anti-technology — I just want it in the right places, not seeping into every part of our lives. Even now, my older kids can’t start with the computer. We always do something else first. We hold the rhythm.

On the hard days

Here’s what I remind myself.

A stack of ordinary moments — sitting with your kids, reading to them, showing them how to form their letters — that’s what builds the relationship. That’s what they’ll remember.

I have never met a parent who regrets giving their child their full attention.

So let’s put our phones down, sit beside our kids, and discover the world alongside them.

Wondering how to start? Grab my free Starter Week — a week of homeschool rhythm you can run without buying a curriculum. And if you’re at the very beginning, here’s how to start homeschooling and what a homeschool day actually looks like. 💛